Helping Children Cope with Financial Stress

More parents are talking about how their financial conditions are affecting their children.   The things that are affecting them are the same ones that are affecting the adults: loss of job, home foreclosure, constant debt collector phone calls, etc.  These things weigh on their minds and affect them more than we realize.

What can be done to help kids get through this time with you without placing an undue burden of stress onto their young shoulders?  Here are some tips that can help them cope with financial stress.

Focus on facts.  In telling children about financial situations, you need to tailor your message according to their age.  Talk on their level and if they are younger, give them fewer details.  Being honest with them builds rapport that you can bank on for future serious discussions, too.  Find a time that you can sit quietly and discuss the things that are happening so that they understand what you are saying.

Support them emotionally.  Assure them that you are there for them to talk or be with them.  This helps put their minds at ease about feeling alone.  It is not uncommon for them to become quiet and very sensitive during these discussions.  Re-assure them that you will not abandon them and that every decision you make is with their best interests in mind.

Get their input.  Let them talk and have their say on what should be done.  Allow them to ask questions.  Keep your answers short and to the point.  Avoid overblown or emotionally charged outbursts.

Keep them active.  Give them a sense of purpose and meaning by paying attention to the things in which they are involved.  Encourage them to continue on and improve their efforts.  This helps keep them from dwelling on the things that cause stress in their young minds.

Keep their eyes on the big picture.  Let them know that you are handling any problems or situations that arise and that you will keep them informed as to what is happening.  They will respect you for what you do and the fact that you are demonstrating your vulnerability as well as how you handle it.

Tell them often that you love them.  Let them know that you are there for them and that nothing will change without you keeping them informed.

Helping your children cope with financial stress is a task that you should not take lightly.  Their mental well-being depends on how they deal with stress and that determines how they will function as adults.