Helping Older Parents Manage Finances

No one looks forward to getting older, yet it is the one things we cannot avoid as we age. In time the roles within the family often shift with adult children facing the responsibility of helping the very people who have raised and guided them to adulthood. There are many ways in which our parents begin to need our assistance however in many cases they do not advertise the fact that they could use some help. How then do adult children know when their parents are struggling with responsibilities and tasks that they previously did with ease? Here are a few tips to help adult children understand if their parents need help and how to provide that help. 

• Evaluate the situation- Before you rush in and take over your parents finances, take the time to evaluate the situation from afar. There is nothing more insulting than having someone tell you you are no longer capable of taking care of yourself, especially if it is not the case. Take the time to quietly observe your parents and how they are handling not only their finances but other responsibilities to get a better idea of whether or not they need help. If your parents do not suffer from a physical or mental disease which limits their ability to care for themselves, you should be able to determine quickly if your assistance is needed.

• Open a dialogue- Whether your parents could use a helping hand today or a few years down the road, it is a good idea to have the “talk” before making any moves. Elderly parents are still your parents and they deserve the respect of having an open discussion about your concerns. If you have noticed signs that indicate they need help now it is important to understand your assistance may not always be greeted with enthusiasm. Nevertheless if they are unable to handle the responsibility it becomes your duty to help them understand how you can help make their life easier. If they are still on top of their game regarding personal finances you can still talk to them about how you should proceed in the future should things change.

• Covering the basics- Have you ever heard the phrase, “no good deed goes unpunished?”. This is often the case when adult children get involved with their parents personal finances. It is not uncommon for siblings or other family members to get involved- not always to help but rather “supervise” your efforts and many family arguments have occured as the result of adult children getting involved in their parents finances.  It is important to understand what legal steps should be taken to ensure you are not subjecting yourself to problems down the road. You may want to consult an attorney or financial advisor to help avoid common mistakes and also to help advise how you should proceed in the future. Basically you want to make sure you are taking the right steps to help your parents without subjecting yourself to legal or other negative consequences in the future.  

Helping elderly parents manage their finances can be simple or complex depending on each situation. Most people will agree that it is better to have a trusted family member involved in day-to-day money management as well as estate planning versus relying completely on the services of a professional. However you decide to proceed, make sure whoever is managing your parents finances is knowledgeable and trustworthy to ensure your parents best interest remain the top priority.